This post's song: Mac Miller - Buttons. Rest in peace, Easy Mac.
Are grades really that important?
As I prepare to wrap up the second of (what I hope is) eight semesters, I... ramble lots on what grades are to me, and what they should be to me, instead of doing any more homework.
I was raised as most Asians are - with an emphasis on being a straight A student, because that's what gets the degree, and then the job. That kind of philosophy worked on me during elementary and high school just fine, since I, as expected, graduated from both with a 90% average. After I left high school, though, I started questioning these thoughts: "Does it really mean much if I spend most of my time just studying non-stop? What do I have left of myself if I remove the one thing I'm supposed to be alive for?"
I took one gap year away from further education, because I didn't know what I wanted to get my degree in. (That's a whole different story, though.) After that year, I went back to academia. My first ever semester in university was... not the best. I averaged a good 69% nice, and that was even with a light courseload and courses I enjoyed. The actual learning was fun, and I had a great understanding of the concepts, but the fact that I had to get an obnoxiously high average to even be considered "in the Computer Science program" which I obviously did not meet made it feel like I had no hope getting my degree.
I was absolutely distraught. All those hours spent studying and understanding the concepts, only to just slightly pass my courses... Now that I'm thinking about it, this is when I started to realize that grades aren't important, and in some cases, just being able to pass is alright. I gave up on ending my first year at that institution and went straight into transferring to another one... yet, I still never fully learned my lesson.
Time skip to me successfully transferring to the university I'm currently in. I've, again, finished my first semester in that institution, and got a pretty high average. Now that I'm in my second semester, which I have been told is hard on EVERYONE, I'm finding myself stressed out over my grades. Of course, this semester is hard on me. Of course, I may not end up having the best grades. But why am I still so hard on myself? Why do I feel like I'm not trying hard enough, that I should overwork myself more? I know I'm understanding a good chunk, if not all, of the concepts. That should be what matters.
I've also learned that in my field, a lot of people are more likely to get their foot in the door by building up their portfolio. I can't really do that much if I focus more on getting the highest grade possible, right? I'm selling myself as a computer science student, not my marks in school! (Even my TAs for some of my courses acknowledge this! They've been in my shoes not too long ago!) If I don't get the best grades, I can just look on the bright side (hey, I passed with a good enough average!) and work harder on learning and understanding things for myself, by myself.
This was a lot that I needed to get off my brain, but just the act of getting it off my chest in the first place really reinforces how I really need to look at school.
Until next time.